+2 votes
119 views
in Fun & Humor ☻ by
School Paper

John wrote an article in the school paper about how this chemical, dihydrogenoxide, has killed over 100,000 people world wide, usually through inhalation.

The story also went on that even if you wash your food you can never get this chemical off. No matter what you do you will be exposed to this very dangerous chemical every day of your life until you die.

The story finished by claiming that there needs to be a government research group founded to find a solution.

Anyway, the local newspaper reporter read this story in his daughters school paper and decided to do a follow up.

image

N.B. If you haven't figured it out di-hydrogen-oxide is the correct name for H2O or water. The deaths that he was quoting were from drownings. Anyhow, this reporter ran the article in a paper and started a local push for a government study before they realized what the story was about.

Link: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/schooljokes/chemistryjokes.html

3 Answers

+3 votes
by
 
Best answer

I enjoyed the website, and picked this joke from it Marianne!

"Do you know any jokes about sodium?"

Answer: Na

by

@ Virginia,

What is the gender of a balloon that rises in the air if you let go of it? 

A He balloon.

by

omg, there is a whole genre of "elemental" jokes!

@ O'tink

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@ Virginia,

I just realized that this helium joke I made up has an unintended double entendre:O :blush: :) :D

by

Ummm...oooh...well Sister O'Tink, as I am still working on mastering single entendres, may I ask you please parse out what unintended double stuff here I seem to have missed with your He joke?

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Um... well... an unencumbred exposed p*nis is quite apt to rise in the air in the presence of a female. :blush: :O :) :D

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Lol - yes, Virginia, a good one.

:):D:D

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Virginia, T(h)ink and Rooster:

Lol - if keeping silent about balloons, *****, etc., there's also the "Fe male", which might be vulnerable to oxidation.

:angel::D:D


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Sister O'Tink it is very graciously explained...an' I got it! Soon I am certain sometime within the NEXT 72 years I will master them single entendres and with a little help from my friends, progress on to the double stuff!

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@ Marianne:

Here is an oxidized Cu-Sn alloy male being mean to his wife. :O

image

For an explanation of this modern fountain in Nuremberg, see:

http://artwondereveryday.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-marriage-carousel-by-prof-jurgen.html

by

Lol, T(h)ink, I started giggling before I had read your first sentence, actually right on seeing Cu-Sn and the sculptures ... :D:D:D

Oh yes, I heard about Hans Sachs, the mastersinger, his spoken rhymes, his humour and his sarcasms, and he was a poet, a playwright, and a shoemaker (Ronsard was about 30 years younger):

http://www.123schmitt.de/ehekru/ehek1.htm

(turn the pages till page 6 with "weiter", and you'll have the whole "poem" and the details of the fountain. )

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Sachs

Sorry, I found no translation:

http://www.bartleby.com/library/prose/4481.html

The sculptures seem to show citizens, somehow like those illustrated in one of Jacques Brel's most sarcastic songs (with English subtitles) - watch out, the language is rather crude:

and one of his greatest hits about the Port of Amsterdam:


by

@ Marianne,

"Gott sei gelobet und geehrt,
der mir ein frumb Weib hat beschert,
Mit der ich zwei und zwanzig Jahr
gehaust hab, Gott gab länger gar
Wiewohl sich in mein ehling Leben
Hat Süß und Saures oft begeben
Gar wohl gemischt von Freud und Leid,
Erst auf, dann ab, ohn Unterscheid.
Sie hat mir nit stets kochet Feigen,
will schwankweis Dir ein Teil anzeigen."

Praise God, and honor be to Him,
Who gave to me a wife so prim,
With whom, for two and twenty years,
I've shared a house, and love, and tears,
Which God has added to the blend,
Where sweet and sour oft attend
Our married life, a mix of bliss
And suff'ring too, with much amiss,
Now up, then down, no bowl of figs,
As I will show you, 'twixt our swigs.
         — so spricht die Tink           :D
by

Wow - hats off - that one is really excellent!

:) applauding - thumbs up - :) and laughing :D:D.


There is a Hans-Sachs literature, drama or poetry award, which would be suitable for this masterpiece:

https://www.literaturportal-bayern.de/preise-foerderungen?task=lpbaward.default&id=83


by

Lol, you are too kind, Marianne. :) <3

by

You deserve the compliments, T(h)ink. :)<3


+3 votes
by

Good one as usual Marianne! As much as I'm in my pool? Reckon I should be dead by now! LOL. :D :D


Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze. 


by

Oh that is a GREAT one...

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Lol - a good one, Rooster, and also - with one "e" less - a brand for widely used air fresheners, "Febreze" - but the biocide Benzisothiazolinone, for instance, is not so good for health; oh, I nearly forgot: it is a BIT too toxic.

As for your pool: don't drink it:

http://www.lenntech.com/processes/disinfection/swimming-pool-/swimming-pool-pollution.htm

:O:angel::D:D:D


+3 votes
by
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Lol - yes, T(h)ink, :O:D

though rather rare, "water intoxication" :'( can be fatal:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication

but the real concern was :'( :

http://michiganradio.org/post/big-increase-number-fatal-drownings-great-lakes


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@ Marianne,

They give good advice in the article, namely, that you should not try to fight an outgoing rip current to get back to shore, but swim perpendicular to the current until you get to calm water, and THEN swim to shore.

by

Yes, T(h)ink, an excellent advice:

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Rip-Tide

:)

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