A married Irishman goes to confession and says to his priest, "Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest asks, "What do you mean, almost?"
"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman, ever again. For your penance, say a hundred Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."
The Irishman leaves the confessional, says the prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who has been watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "Wait a minute! I saw that! You didn’t put any money in the poor box! "
The Irishman replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and you said that’s the same as putting it in."