Consumption of Alcohol and Warning Labels

Question

New warning labels for liquor, wine and beer containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what in the world happened to your bra and panties. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ____

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ____

WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.



http://www.bizcommunity.com/Jokes/196/12.html

Answer 1

Another good one and many true facts there also!   

Comments

Lol - thank you, Rooster - it is indeed a little lesson.

Answer 2

Comments

Oh, hurrah, I was hoping this Q would indeed be another wonderful opportunity for Other Tink's alter ego to express herself!      

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Lol, T(h)ink, that reminds me of a parody, with a scene of a twosome bath in Scotch whisky.

Unfortunately, no video or picture of this memorable scene could be found ...

Short info:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060475/

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@ Virginia,

There's nothing like a blue margarita bath to keep a fairy feeling fresh and pert. 

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@ Marianne,

Lol, I hope neither of them had any scratches or sores when they took their whisky bath.  It would have been painful. 

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Lol - they got some bruises before, but they swallowed quite a few drinks in their bath, which should have served as painkillers. They seemed also fit enough to celebrate - right after this accident - the marriage of their children with plenty of food and more drinks. I think that the painful part was rather a big hangover on the following day.

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Ah, yes...the blue margarita bath...another educational gem, ONLY on I have solved...

Answer 3

I enjoyed these very much also, Marianne!    

Comments

Lol, Virginia - besides a hilarious parody, I am also remembering a popular sketch about ferruginous water, which could be considered as Bourvil's failed anti-alcohol campaign speech.

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Marianne, I am unfamiliar with Bourvil...although I did go to Wikipedia, and learned of his role as M. Thenardier in Les Miserables..." While Javert represents the justice system that would punish Valjean, the Thenardiers represent the lawless subculture of society that would blackmail him."

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Yes, Virginia, Bourvil did not only play in comedies; Thénardier was indeed one of the darkest roles played by Bourvil; he starred also in other, tragic roles and movies, for instance, in:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Cercle_Rouge

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Miroir_%C3%A0_deux_faces

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Longest_Day_(film)

Bourvil interpreted also, besides his funny performances, some great poetic songs, for instance: 

La tendresse:

English translation: (basing on the interpretation by Marie Laforêt) http://lyricstranslate.com/en/la-tendresse-tenderness.html-0

The song (one of my favourites) was written by Noël Roux, composed by Hubert Giraud; it was interpreted by Bourvil in 1963, and by Marie Laforêt in 1964.

As an example of Laforêt's voice (and not repeating the same sound twice), you might remember the country song, interpreted by unforgettable Melba Montgomery, "No charge", which is also expressing love and tenderness:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Charge