The Priest's Lucky Donkey and the "A" Word

Question

Priest And Donkey

A priest wanted to raise money for his church, and being told there was money in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse to enter in the races.

However, at the local auction, the price of horses was so steep that he ended up with a donkey instead. He figured that since he bought it, he might as well enter it in the races anyway.

To his surprise, the donkey placed third in his first race. The next day the racing sheet carried the head-lines "Priest's Ass Shows".

The priest was pleased with the donkey and entered it in another race. This time, the donkey won.

The next day, the racing sheet read "Priest's Ass Out Front".

The Bishop was very upset with this kind of publicity, so he ordered the priest not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The paper read "Bishop Scratches Priest's Ass".

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey.

The priest gave the donkey to a nun at a nearby convent and the headlines read "Nun Has Best Ass In Town".

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey.

She sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read "Nun Peddles Ass For Ten Bucks".

The Bishop felt a heart attack was coming for sure, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: "Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild And Free!"

The Bishop was buried the next day.



N.B.: The Asian or Persian onager (Equus hemionus onager), a wild parent of the donkeys, is even faster than race horses:

http://list25.com/25-fastest-land-animals/3/
http://www.koelner-zoo.de/takhi/Seiten-eng/bilologie_eng.html

Link: http://www.jokelibrary.net/religion/c_Priest1.html#priest_and_the_rabbi_hear_confession

Answer 1

And the next day the headlines read, "Bishop Succumbs to Heart Attack while Administering Nun's Ass."

Comments

And you don't know all; I have been bothered on another site with an offensive porn pic; I was furious, deleted it, and blocked the offender. It looks much like a spam for a prostitution ring; right now, I am looking for more info to alert the cyber police ...

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That happened to me once or twice on SH.  I didn't block them, I just made merciless fun of them with limericks and they quickly disappeared. 

The only person I ever reported was one who made a death threat against me.  He was DA'd within 24 hours.  And I'm still alive. 

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Wow - and you did great - good to know that all is fine on your side; actually, I didn't block anybody on SH, and I was far too busy to lose my time with arguing against trolls or to think about how to make fun of people for whom one can only feel sorry - I just "forgot" them. I informed my SH support only about one or two of the worst cases (well, they were already deactivated).

Today, it is also the first time that I blocked somebody and deleted a porn picture, because I am suspecting that it was a spam from a prostitution ring. (There are young teens there!) But in this case, if my suspicions are confirmed (there has been already an alert with somebody else having left a very offensive proposal on a page, so, I am carrying on with on-line research), I'll have to alert the cyberpolice.

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There once was a ghoulish purveyor,

A lewdly salacious conveyor,

Of internet porn

With which (clipped and shorn),

He hoped to obtain a John payer.

I hope the cyberpolice pay attention. I think cases of this sort are very hard to prosecute, especially across international borders.  And of course, if the purveyors should be members of a protected minority, doubly difficult.

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Yes, indeed, ; I am afraid that most of the social communities and websites are exposed to such spams.

We heard a lot about human trafficking, teen and child prostitution, etc., since long, but with the migration crisis, the situation gets totally out of control. Genocide in Myanmar and in Amazonian territories has intensified. There are lots of suspicions, and mainstream media "seem to lack concrete evidence", but a growing number of aid and welfare organisations are increasingly calling for help - and this is only the tip of a huge iceberg.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/645778/European-Union-EU-Germany-Angela-Merkel-migrants-Brexit

https://www.veteranstoday.com/2016/01/31/10000-kids-missing-in-eu-as-criminals-exploit-migrant-flow-europol-chief-of-staff/

http://www.maxkeiser.com/2014/07/about-40-politicians-on-uk-pedophile-ring-report/

Long ago:

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/27/world/germany-says-it-uncovered-huge-child-pornography-ring.html?mcubz=0

Answer 2

Marianne, I loved learning about the Asian/Persian onagers...had no idea they were that fast!

And, I really think the US government ought to hire on Other Tink for its foreign affairs...maybe she could keep the US out of all these military-industrial wars, just go after 'em with limericks!

Comments

Oh yes, Virginia, Equidae or equids (i.e. the horse family) are fast land animals - and they are amazing:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equidae

Lol, T(h)ink has indeed the potential to "go after 'em with limericks" - efficiently!

Answer 3

Comments

Ouch! 

I hope he had a cup under that jock strap. 

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Lol - don't challenge the reactive power of asinine hind quarters ...