How to translate work e-mails! No, no dirty words! LOL

Question

I have a question.     =     I have 18 questions.

I’ll look into it.     =     I’ve already forgotten about it.

I tried my best.     =     I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further.     =     Don’t ask me about this again.

No worries.     =     You really messed up this time.

Take care.     =     This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.

Cheers!     =     I have no respect for you or myself!

Answer 1

It has come to my attention...  =  You're in BIG trouble now...

Answer 2

Lol - a good one!

You must have experienced such answers and questions yourself - with more or less disappointments, as we all did.

Answer 3

Rooster, here is one I use occasionally:

"I did the best I can" = I am not up to any more of your micromanaging.