+3 votes
in Jokes & Riddles by (7.6k points)

It is said (or was in the 1950's)...that a pun, a play on words, is the lowest form of humour...but I love them! Here is one of my favourites...do you have one?

* * *

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

Or, how about a pun on puns...!

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

3 Answers


Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.


Virginia Rooster

Rooster, that is three! YOU like them too!

Rooster Rooster

@Virginia : Of course I do! :D


Virginia Rooster

Oh Rooster he is cheesy brilliant!

Marianne Rooster

Lol - this picture reminds me of the "ugly fruit and vegetable campaigns" - and their lessons filled with humour.



On Mother's Day, an avid golfer had a big match, but to his consternation, he remembered at the last minute that he had also promised to take his Mom out to dinner.

He canceled the golf match and took his Mom out, the first known case of putting the heart before the course.

Virginia TheOtherTink

Good good good one, Other Tink!

TheOtherTink TheOtherTink


Marianne TheOtherTink

A really good one, T(h)ink - lol.

(I'd rather not talk too much about the tempting nineteenth hole and its liquid toasting treasures ...)


TheOtherTink TheOtherTink

@ Marianne,

I later heard that he got his mother falling-down drunk at the 19th hole and then went ahead and played his match. :O

Marianne TheOtherTink


Lol - did he win without his mum's support?


TheOtherTink TheOtherTink

@ Marianne,

No, he was so drunk himself that he couldn't hit the ball straight. :D :D :D


Multilingual puns can also generate hilarious moments, all the more, if the spelling is the same, but the meaning different.

For example, the word "if", in English, is a conjunction, a conditional word; in French, "if" is a yew, for instance the European yew, Taxus baccata, and there's Kipling's poem "If".

"If" (in English) is translated with "falls", "wenn" (but it can, sometimes, stand for when), etc.; in French, it is translated with "si" (can also be used for yes), but "si" in Italian and Spanish stands for "yes". The Russians say "da" for yes, but the Germans say "da" for here. (I won't weigh too much on "Putin", "Putine" or "Poutine", which reminds of a slur in French, i.e. you add an "a"): http://dictionary.reverso.net/english-french/whore

In English and German, "bush" and "Busch" is a shrub (there are, of course, celebrities withe the name "Bush" and "Busch", and in French, you have, with the same pronunciation "bouche", i.e. mouth, opening, etc.


And one of the funniest examples with lots of puns is the "Spell Checker Poem":


Virginia Marianne

Oh Marianne, THAT is a treasure...  :D ,,,truly a candidate for the Pullet Surprise!

I soon learned seldom (or never) to use the spell check on my computer...they are hopeless! And multi-lingual puns...well a whole world of possibility there!

Marianne Marianne

Oh yes, Virginia, this "spell checker poem" is a treasure of humour and "winks" - lol.

It reminds me also of the many texts and translations, which I reviewed, revised, whether mine or those of colleagues. The best way to check was with the colleague(s) involved (one at a time, due to reduced space), including the oral translation of certain letters, reports, guidelines and articles - there were some absolutely hilarious and also very instructive moments. The spell checkers were not so reliable indeed.

And some tried automatic translations - which were a disaster.


Marianne Marianne

Lol - there was another one (heard in a cultural info about Ancient Rome), combining old Roman "cuisine" and a present-day region of our Western neighbour, a Department:

Le Loir et Cher .... - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loir-et-Cher

Le loir est cher .... - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edible_dormouse

- i.e. "The dormouse is expensive ..." (a delicacy for the Old Romans and, quite logically expensive, about 2000 years ago)

Pronunciation: scroll down to "prononciation": https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/Loir-et-Cher

(there is only a slight difference in pronunciation between "et" (and, like "e" in send) and "est" (is, 3rd person, sing. of "to be", like a in hat)