Chap walks into a pub. Orders a pint of bitter and a bag of crisps. Sups the pint, doesn’t open the bag of crisps but puts it on his head and walks out. Next night, same thing: pint, crisps, drinks the beer, bag on head, walks out. This goes on for a week or two.
Then one night the barman tells him they’d no crisps, so the chap says he’ll have peanuts instead then. Drinks the pint, bag on the head, walks out. He passes a bloke in the street, who taps him on the shoulder and says, “‘Scuse me mate, none of my business, but I’ve got ask, would you kindly tell me why you’ve got a bag of peanuts on your head?” “Just been in the Rose and Crown,” he says, “They’ve run out of crisps”.
I met my wife on a speed-dating evening. I was a bit surprised because I thought she was at home looking after the kids.