Do they play baseball in Heaven?

Question

Old Joe and Moe were lifetime baseball fans. As they grew older, they began to wonder if there was baseball in Heaven, and made an agreement that whoever got there first would try to report back to the other whether baseball was played beyond the Pearly Gates.

Some days after Moe died, he appeared in one of Joe's dreams. When he got over his surprise, Joe asked, "Moe, is it really you? And is there baseball in Heaven?"

Moe said, "Yes, it's me, and I have good news... there is baseball in Heaven. But the bad news is that you're pitching on Thursday."

This joke could easily be modified to cover football, rugby, etc...

Answer 1

I have three for you Tink -- 

The pope arrived at the pearly Gates and St. Peter greeted him and said he realized the pope was probably anxious to know a few things judging from the number of times he prayed for guidance. The pope agreed saying that he had a real hankering to see the original scriptures. So S. Peter showed him to the room where the original manuscripts were stored. He left the old gentlemen there to search them out and soon forgot all about him. A while later he heard a great wail coming from the room. St. Peter went to investigate and found the Pope in an awful sweat.St. Peter asked the Pope what was wrong and this loud pitiful voice replied:  O NO! it says C-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e not c-e-l-e-b-a-t-e!!!-       

A reporter went to heaven and saw two long lines. Over one line was a sign which read "For Men Who Were Dominated By Their Wives." The other line had a sign over the doorway which read, "For Men Who Dominated Their Wives," but there was only one man in that line. 

Being a reporter, he went up to the man all by himself and said, "Sir, could you tell me why you're the only man in this line for "Men Who Dominated Their Wives?" 

"Sure," the other man responded, "my wife told me to stand here."

A very wealthy man decided to prove the quote, "You can't take it with you", wrong. Before he died he requested that his gold be buried with him. Sure enough after his death he found himself in heaven along with his gold. He was so excited that he had actually taken it with him. He went up to St. Peter to enter the gates and exclaimed "Look at this, you can take it with you." Peter looked at the gold in the mans hand and asked "Why would you want to bring pavement with you?" 

(Pearly gates and the streets paved with gold!)

Comments

An 85 year old couple, having been married over 60 years, die in a car crash. They had been in excellent health, due mainly to the wife's decades-long interest in health food.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite with Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed", the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to see the championship golf course the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the greens fees?"

"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw a lavish buffet lunch with all the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked. "This is Heaven. It's free!"

"Um... where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly.

"That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your stupid bran muffins. We should have come here thirty years ago!"

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's a good one, Sister O'Tink!

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Answer 2

A couple of Yogi Berra's teammates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.

Comments

I hope the second baseman caught the baby!

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Answer 3

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