+1 vote
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in Fun & Humor ☻ by
Husband Speak

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." Really means....
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."
***
"It's a guy thing." Really means....
There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
***
"Can I help with dinner?" Really means....
"Why isn't it already on the table?"
***
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really mean....
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.
***
"Good idea." Really means....
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."
***
"Have you lost weight?" Really means....
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."
***
"My wife doesn't understand me." Really means....
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."
***
"It would take too long to explain." Really means....
"I have no idea how it works."
***
"I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."
***
"I got a lot done." Really means....
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."
***
"We're going to be late." Really means....
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
***
"You cook just like my mother used to." Really means....
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."
***
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
***
"That's interesting, dear." Really means....
"Are you still talking?"
***
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again."
***
"You expect too much of me." Really means....
"You want me to stay awake."
***
"It's a really good movie." Really means....
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars."
***
"That's women's work." Really means....
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

image

Link: http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Husbands/Husband_Speak.shtml

 

2 Answers

+1 vote
by

Still zero answers? :O

A shared laugh is so much better. :)

+1 vote
by

"Geteilte Freud' ist doppelte Freud',

Geteilter Schmerz ist halber Schmerz."  :)


by
by

@TheOtherTink


A little exercise in German:


Geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid

am besten passt das schwarze Kleid,

damit weiss man sehr schnell Bescheid

Respekt erfordert keinen Eid;

in Städten oder auf der Heid'

kennt wahre Grösse keinen Neid.

:)

by

image

"Geteilte Freud' ist doppelte Freud' "

Das sagte einst der Sigmund Freud.

Sprach er vielleicht von Gaumenfreud'?

(Ich hoffe nicht, von Schadenfreud'.)

Viellecht doch mal von "Selbstbefreud-

Igung", das passt dem Sigmund Freud

Viel besser als die and'ren Freud'.   :) :O :blush: :angel:

by

Outstanding!!! :D:D:D

Imagine that you are reading these rhymes to Stripy:

while Bouvard & Co. would applaud:

****

Höchst selten hab' ich so gelacht,

bei solch' gewitzter Wörterschlacht!

Da hat's beim alten Freud "gekracht";

Welten von Träumen, voller Pracht,

wurden von Kunden mitgebracht,

und manche trugen schwere Fracht,

gegrinst wird dann die halbe Nacht,

sogar im tiefsten Kellerschacht ...

 

Vocabulary and suggestions for inspiration:

"Geteilte Freud' ist doppelte Freud' "

(doppelt' / grösste / meiste / höchste)

Das sagte einst der Sigmund Freud.

Sprach er vielleicht von Gaumenfreud'?

(Ich hoffe nicht von Schadenfreud'.)

Vielleicht doch mal von "Selbstbefreud-

(... Eigenfreud')

Igung", das passt dem Sigmund Freud

natürlich passt's dem Sigmund Freud

Viel besser als die and'ren Freud'. 

 

http://woerterbuchnetz.de/DWB/?sigle=DWB&mode=Vernetzung&lemid=GB02404#XGB02404

http://www.duden.de/rechtschreibung/Selbstbefriedigung

by
I'm shocked, SHOCKED! (again)   Es wird mir hier VIEL zu geil!   :D

  :O :blush: :O

image

Regarding your suggestions,
Lol, well, I used the most commonly quoted form of "geteilte Freud' ist doppelte Freud' ", e.g.,

https://www.reishunger.de/blog/post/197/geteilte-freud-ist-doppelte-freud

True, if you force the line into iambic meter, it has an extra syllable, but I think it reads better out loud with the extra syllable.  Or, better yet, you can think of it NOT as iambic, but as dactyl with an upbeat and silent beats, in 3-time, like a waltz.

Ge  TEIL  ^  te  FREUD'  ^  ist  DOP  pel  te  FREUD'   (^ = silent beat)
 3       1    2    3            2    3           2     3      1

You can sing along with Tales from the Vienna Woods (starting at 0:24, after the introduction)  :)



And I'm not sure that "Eigenfreud' "is as explicit as my (crude) pun, which leaves no possible doubt.
:O:blush::O or am I missing some contemporary meaning?  My German grandmother didn't teach me such words; I had to look them up myself.  :D:devil::D

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