Intercom
A Jumbojet was coming into London Heathrow after a long-haul trip from Singapore and the captain opened the intercom and said 'Ladies and gentlemen we are now making our final approach into Heathrow, we hope you've enjoyed flying with RarelyCrash Airways and that we'll see you again soon, please have a safe onward journey' at which point he forgot to turn the intercom off.
He turned to the co-pilot and said 'well Roger what plans do you have for the rest of the day?'
The co-pilot replied 'My wife will be at the hotel, Mike, and she's got seats booked for a West-End show, I don't know which one, what plans do you have?'
The cabin crew and passengers meanwhile are quite enjoying this change from the norm.
The captain continued 'As you know my divorce was finalised last week, so I'll be taking a long soak in the bath before ordering dinner in my room. I'm thinking that after that I'll call the pretty new blonde stewardess working upstairs, Susanne I think her name is, and take her out for a drink, then take her back to my room and give her a damn good seeing to.'
At that moment the passengers cheered loudly and in the upper deck Susanne realised the intercom was still on by accident and she had to get downstairs and let them know.
She ran up the aisle and tripped headlong over an old ladys handbag which was poking out into the aisle.
The old lady looked down at the spread-eagled young woman and said 'There's no need to hurry love, he's going to have a bath first.'
(a plane taking off, picked randomly - not obligatorily related to this story ...)
Link:
http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/pilotjokes.html