+2 votes
in Fun & Humor ☻ by (18.5k points)
Redefined Medical Terms

Artery: The study of fine paintings
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria
Barium: What doctors do when patients die
Catscan: Searching for kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Coma: A punctuation mark.
D&C: Where Washington is
Enema: Not a friend
ER: The things on your head that you hear with
Fester: Quicker than someone else
Genes: Blue denim slacks
G.I. Series: World Series of military baseball
Hemorrhoid: A male from outer space
Impotent: Distinguished, well-known
Medical Staff: A doctor’s cane
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move
Outpatient: A person who has fainted
Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad
Pathalogical: A reasonable way to go
Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative: A letter carrier
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery
Rectum: Almost killed him
Red Blood Count: Dracula
Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: Roman Emperor
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Thorax: A Dr. Seuss character
Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak
Tumor: More than one, an extra pair
Varicose: Near by/close by
Vein : Conceited


Link: https://www.aimseducation.edu/blog/ridiculously-funny-medical-jokes/

3 Answers


Reminds me of some of my Doctors! LOL. :D :D :D

Marianne Rooster

Lol, Rooster, I can only guess that their humour was rather sarcastic ...



Endoscope: a device for looking in either end.

Mammogram: a telegram from your Mamma.

Speculum: a device that provides a spectacle.

Marianne TheOtherTink

Lol, T(h)ink, brilliant!


TheOtherTink TheOtherTink

But they are not much fun.  :O :blush: :( :angel: :) :D


Just for you, Marianne...my beloved version of "medical staff"...the Rod of Aesculapius!


Marianne Virginia

Virginia, that is indeed the very version, and it is also the symbol of true vocation. I still believe in it. <3:)