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OK, tell the truth! What food gives you gas? Or foods?

+4 votes
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in Fun & Humor ☻ by

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5 Answers

+3 votes
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Waddaya mean, give me gas?  :O :blush: :O

Everyone KNOWS women don't f*rt, Rooster!

Just ask Marianne or Ser!  :)
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OK, if you say so!  LOL  :D :D :D

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*hugs* Tink 

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@ Ser:

*hugs*  :)

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To all my friends, returning from Fairyland: :angel::D


Beans and beer are most astounding;
while the bubbles thrive, abounding,
effervescing and redounding,
gurgling and, sometimes, resounding
in their adequate surrounding.

Guts may respond with virulence,
and generate some flatulence,
released with noise and turbulence,
or softly - with less truculence,
depending on one's petulance.

A lonesome hike, in the nature,
as soon as such gases mature
can maintain one's worthy stature -
and defy the caricature,
as defined by nomenclature ...

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@Rooster

And I couldn't help remembering the urban legend of the Queen's farting horse - lol.

:D:D:D


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@ the goldfish:

Wait a minute!

Why isn't the whistling producing any bubbles?  :ermm: :) :D

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That is strange indeed; maybe that there were no air bubbles left for the "front" - lol.

:ermm::D



by

That is probably the reason why the "glug-glug" was "drowned".

:D:D


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@Ser

When a drinker starts to slurp,
gurgling thirstily: blurp, blurp, blurp!
Relief comes promptly with a burp,
but such loud noises can disturb,
and there's a lot of gas to curb ...
:O:angel::D
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@ Marianne:

Yes, but if there was no "front" air, there would have been no musical whistling notes emanating from the fish's mouth. :ermm:

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It must be some kind of "water whistling" - lol. What's funny, there are fish species who produce sounds, but not the same way as we do:

https://owlcation.com/stem/Fish-That-Make-Sounds-Purrs-Grunts-Hums-and-Hoots

:D:D:D

:angel::angel::angel:

:D:D:Dimage


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@ Marianne:

Maybe it was a German fish that coined the phrase, "Ich pfeif' Dir was..."  :O :) :D

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Lol - the fish must be the "April fish".

But it might be the German version of

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You%27re_Darn_Tootin%27

(I didn't see this one - I'll save the link) :):D:D


Considering the known fish sounds, I'd rather use "grunt", i.e. "Ich grunz' Dir was ...". The singing suits more cetaceans, other mammals, birds, amphibians, ...



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LOL! Laurel and Hardy were funny. :D

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There was an insep'rable pair,

Who gadded about ev'rywhere.

But she JUMPED up and started,

When he BENT, and then f*rted —

The end of a budding affair.  :(

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:D:D

+3 votes
by

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hahaha     Tink is absolutely correct  :P

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I knew I could count on you, Ser!  :)

Land o' Goshen, for sweet Heaven's sake!

This Rooster guy JUST took the cake!

He ASKED about gas,

But I'LL take a pass;

Pixie DUST is what US fairies make.

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@ Tink   hahaha    brilliant 


could it be possible babe that our mystique has been blown 

by our beloved Marianne , who is far too honest for her own good sometimes. :P

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@Ser

Lol - :angel::D

Fairyland is rather easy,

as long as things don't get queasy.

:D:D


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Lol - that was meant for earthlings ...

The correction is done - hopefully to your satisfaction.

:O:angel::D

:D:D:D


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@ Ser:

Marianne needs to spend a weekend in Neverland to learn the ropes.  :angel: :) :D

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@T(h)ink

:angel::D:D

It might be an idea - lol.

And remember the Broccoli story - it was already there:

Perfume

An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destiny and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, she bends over, and farts.......

"Broccoli - 49 cents a pound!!!"

Link: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/perfume/288540/

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@Ser

There was this Broccoli story:


Perfume

An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destiny and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eyes, she bends over, and farts....... "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound!!!"

Link: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/perfume/288540/

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:O :O :O :O :O

:) :) :) :) :)

:D :D :D :D :D

+3 votes
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Lol - there are quite a few dishes which can contribute to aerophagia - or flatulence.

Besides the "highly and widely appreciated" beans for "amateurs" (including notorious "cassoulet" recipes), you can also enjoy the "performances" of broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, onions, etc., prune juice, pears, bananas, etc., carbonated drinks, beer, of course, and other alcoholic drinks, and, of course, of fatty, especially deep fried food and sweet, caloric desserts.

:O:angel::D

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Not in Neverland, Marianne!

It's just like Ser and I said above!  :angel: :) :D

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@ M  *smh* Girlfriend , now you've gone and blown it (excuse the pun) :P

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have a great day babe *hugs*  Ser & Tink .........the Ladies who don't fart ;)  lolz 

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@Ser and T(h)ink

CORRECTION

Oops, I must admit, with this correction,

that fairies and elves are the exception,

and that a mystic unicorn, of course

does not produce gases like a real horse.

Regarding the matter of Neverland,

it's inspiring, as much as Fairyland.


:O:angel::D

A big hug to both!






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@ Marianne:

That's better!  :angel: :) :D

*hugs*

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@Ser

Lol - hugs back - and see above ...

:O:angel::D:D:D



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@T(h)ink

:D:D:D

+ another hug!

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@ M ...Tinks the Fairy and I'm the Naughty Imp

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*hugs* babe  .... come meet Sakima from SH , he's just rolled in on Am Irite 

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Lol - a naughty imp?

:O:angel::D

Aren't you "culpabilising" yourself a bit too much?

Oops - there's more to come - I'll be back!

:D:D:D





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@Ser

Done, regarding Sakima (I can't remember this name, but I remember one of his friends, R).

But he was probably there under another name, so, I might have known him.


:)

(hugs)


+2 votes
by

I'll tell you for starters , us women aren't farters 

and any who say otherwise can go jump 

we can squeeze in our cheeks , for nigh on 2 weeks 

so you won't hear no pump from our rump.


hahaha  



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@ Ser:

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Though from MEN, I have often got word of

Their vaporous blasts, with a t*rd of-

Ten trailing

Intestinal failing,

But FEMININE f*rts? — They're unheard of!

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@ Tink  *wink*

Dear God Man's Beer farts are the worst 

and certainly enough to make me curse 

when one wafts along and the stomachs not strong 

out the room it's best to reverse 

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@Ser

When a soft breeze over stubbles

sends an airy cloud of bubbles,

which might bring along some troubles,

all the more if impact doubles;

opportunities for starters ...

can inspire certain farters,

namely drinkers playing Quarters.

:D:D:D

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@ Ser:

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I'm POSITIVE, Ser, that you WILL know,

(Despite nasty rumors that STILL go

Around), that no fairy, I'm SURE,

Who was pure and demure,

Used a unicorn horn for a dildo.  :O :blush: :ermm: :) :D

Edit: I don't know why the image didn't show... it was just a unicorn horn, and no one was using it. :)

Well, here's another:

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Would this help for 4D printing technology? :)

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@ Marianne:

IDK, sometimes 2D printing is difficult enough.  :O

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Oh, there are plenty of so-called simple operations and programmes, which are, actually, too complicated for common users - lol - and you'd rather see an expert for more complex operations ...

:O:D


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I would only trust experts I know well.  :blush: :O :) :D

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@ Tink  ... you're enough to make me blush occasionally :O  lolz you're a Naughty Fairy and that's outrageous , don't think I'll ever see Unicorn's in the same light again :P

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thanks for letting me know about Rooster babe  *hugs*  Ser

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@ Ser:

The reverse (or forward) Unicorngirl position?  :O :blush: :O :) :D

Ohh, you're a BAD influence on me, Ser!

Keep up the good work!  :D :D :D

*hugs*

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@ Tink 

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and I Love it , have a great weekend babe and you Marianne 


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You're perfectly right!

:angel::D:D:D

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A  very nice unicorn!

Thank you, Serenity. I am still being slowed down considerably, but it is April Fools' Day.

:O:):D

+2 votes
by

P.S. Where did Rooster go?

I think we shocked him so much, he skedaddled. :O :) :D

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Lol - that's great for a "funny words" list, and there are some rhyming words :

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/skedaddle

(there seems to be also an Old Norse origin)


:D:D !

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I had surgery on my jaw this last Wednesday and haven't felt much like coming online. You couldn't shock me as it was good for a laugh! :D

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@ Rooster:

I hope the surgery went well, and that you're feeling better!

You weren't shocked?  Aw, shucks... and I just composed this skedaddle limerick for Marianne.

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The comments in here grew so addled,

That once Rooster's stallion was saddled,

So great was his shock,

That our favorite cock,

Just hell-bent-for-leather skedaddled.

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@ Marianne:

See above. :D
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Wow, I have just seen your and Rooster's messages about the surgical intervention on his jaw.

That doesn't look like a funny April Fools' Day, and I hope that he'll recover soon.

But that changes the "rhyming exercise".

See you later, I am still dealing with connection problems - they seem to occur repeatedly on our side of the "Big Pond".



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@Rooster

I hope that you are all right, that there are no complications, and that you are recovering well.

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@T(h)ink

This info came totally unexpected, and I am late again with everything.

See my answers to you and Rooster. Did you inform Serenity?

:'(:O:)

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@ Marianne:

I just did.

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@ Rooster ....I hope everything went without a hitch and I really wish you a speedy recovery my friend .....Ser

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@T(h)ink

Thank you; good that you are here; I am considerably slowed down here; these interferences go on today, and I was also flooded with messages. Well - it's April Fools' Day - lol.

By the way, the BBC hoax was a nice one, but I had another idea about the zoological name: 

Phocoena quoradente : correction "quoradentatis" or, in a nicer way = "P. machairodentatis"

:ermm::O:):D


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Thank you ladies for your concern. Muchly appreciated. Only bad thing is that it set off another episode on my damn Meniere's disease and that's pretty much kept me down. Sorry.

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@ Rooster ....you have my sympathies , I had an ear infection last May that lasted nearly 5 weeks 

kept losing my balance , felt like I had a bucket on my head constantly (could hear my own heart beat) and I couldn't go out on my own because I couldn't hear traffic etc 

I hope this episode passes soon , can understand how it can get you down.

take care .........Ser

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@ Rooster:

I hope the Meniere's episode passes quickly.  Persistent dizziness is awful.  :(

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