I jus' got a copy o' the Lancashire Bible:
“Hey up Michael, a word in thy lughole.”
“Yes God”, said Michael.
“I tell thee, lad,” He said,
“I am dischuffed to t’ knickers with them two places
And Lot ran up the stairs and there sat on the end of the bed,
Writing in a book of gold, in a great wakening light,
with one foot in t’ chamber po were th’ Archangel Michael.
“‘Ow do,”said Lot, “Wot’s to do ?”
He said, “It’s the Lord.” He said. “‘E’s dischuffed with this place,” he said.
“‘Ere,” he said, “And Gomorrah,” he said,
“Down the road,” he said,
“Finito Benito, bang, smoke,” he said.
“Big ‘ole in the sky and God’s big balls of fire are comin’ right down.”
“Ooh, ecky thump!” said Lot.