+1 vote
in Fun & Humor ☻ by

A Texas ranchowner was visiting England and one day found himself in a country pub in Somerset. There was one old man sitting at the bar so the Texan went and sat next to him and started a conversation.

‘Hi, I’m from Texas and I just love your quaint country! May I ask, what do you do?’

“I’m a farmer”

‘Hey so am I! What sort of farming?’

“Oh, I’ve got a few cows”

‘So do I - quite a lot as it happens, several thousand. Say, how big is your farm?’

“Oh, I’ve got 70 acres”

‘Really? Back in Texas my place is so big it takes me all day to drive from one side to the other!’

The old man took a slow drink from his beer, looked at the Texan and replied “I know how you feel - I had a car like that once.”

1 Answer

+2 votes

Winston Churchill to Lady Astor, on her remarking that he was disgustingly drunk:

"My dear, you are ugly [and I am drunk], but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly." :D


I have to ride in on your back of course on that one regarding Churchillian quotes.   Some dispute this one, others maintain it as true.  Regardless: 

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston:  if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.

 Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.


Lady Astor: Mission accomplished. :)