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Why Rednecks Make Good Soldiers

Dear Ma & Pa:

Am well. Hope you are.
Tell brother Walt & brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.
Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food.

But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different.

A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.
The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around & frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers get into this setup & come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter, Gail

P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 towards a new barn roof & ma's teeth.
The city boys shoot craps, but not very good.


Link: http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/MilJoke.htm

5 Answers


In a way, this joke reminded me of what an American Civil War soldier is supposed to have written about his battle experiences:

When we were at the front, shooting at a line of soldiers advancing towards us, I always shot at the private soldiers, never the officers. That's because it was the privates who were shooting at me. The officers seemed like rather harmless personages.

Marianne TheOtherTink

Lol, T(h)ink, that is a very pertinent statement. :angel::D:D:D

I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas time.


TheOtherTink TheOtherTink

Thank you, I did, Marianne.  I hope you did too. 


And the twelve Rauhnaechte have just started:)


Marianne TheOtherTink

Lol, T(h)ink, thank you for your information. :)

Oh yes, there are so many celebrations, festivals and events to remember and to share with our friends:

Some more general examples:




Yes, I could relax a bit - lol.


Cracked me up when I got to "your loving daughter..." Total surprise. :D

Marianne Didge

Lol, Didge, that was the most inspiring, hilarious element of the whole story - though in excellent "company". :O:angel::D:D


Cool story! Wish Hitman would see this! LOL. :D :D :D

Marianne Rooster

Lol, Rooster, thank you; it is a pleasure to share a good laugh with you. :D:D:D


Marianne this is my first outing this morning and it is bringing big smiles and LOL too!

Marianne Virginia

Lol, Virginia, your bright smiles with a LOL are inspiring - thank you! :D:D:D


I don't know but I've been told!

Sergeant H*** is getting old.

Them Sergeant stripes, they give him class!

He just likes to kick our ass!

Marianne Rooster

:) image:)

Our Rooster keeps us dazing,

yes, dear friend, you are amazing,

sharing smiles and erudition,

true to poetic tradition.