Scottish Aye 26 August at 09:48 · BREAKING NEWS FROM LOCH NESS
Locals were left stunned this morning as Nessie resurfaced from her long holiday in Turkey, now sporting a dazzling set of pearly white Turkey Teeth and what appears to be a freshly installed hair transplant weave.
Eyewitnesses say the monster was “blinding boats with her Colgate smile” and flipping her new locks like she was angling for a spot on Scotland’s Next Top Lassie.
One fisherman shouted, “She went away a beast, came back a Belter!” while locals feared her sparkling grin could draw every midge in the Highlands straight to the loch like moths to a flame, turning Loch Ness into the world’s largest midge breeding ground.
Tourism bosses, however, are delighted, claiming it’s the first time Nessie’s had a proper fringe since the Ice Age. She’s even applied for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, not realising it was about comedy rather than a competition for the best styled fringe.
Villagers joked she’s giving off “full diva energy, like the Real Housewife of Inverness.”
Looking at the before pic from her latest surfacing in 2023, compared to the new after photo fresh from Turkey, you can already tell she looks far happier and less menacing. Nessie admitted the old sharp toothed look gave folk the wrong impression, which made her sad, because deep down she’s a gentle soul, despite the “monster” moniker.
Scottish Aye
26 August at 09:48
·
BREAKING NEWS FROM LOCH NESS
Locals were left stunned this morning as Nessie resurfaced from her long holiday in Turkey, now sporting a dazzling set of pearly white Turkey Teeth and what appears to be a freshly installed hair transplant weave.
Eyewitnesses say the monster was “blinding boats with her Colgate smile” and flipping her new locks like she was angling for a spot on Scotland’s Next Top Lassie.
One fisherman shouted, “She went away a beast, came back a Belter!” while locals feared her sparkling grin could draw every midge in the Highlands straight to the loch like moths to a flame, turning Loch Ness into the world’s largest midge breeding ground.
Tourism bosses, however, are delighted, claiming it’s the first time Nessie’s had a proper fringe since the Ice Age. She’s even applied for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, not realising it was about comedy rather than a competition for the best styled fringe.
Villagers joked she’s giving off “full diva energy, like the Real Housewife of Inverness.”
Looking at the before pic from her latest surfacing in 2023, compared to the new after photo fresh from Turkey, you can already tell she looks far happier and less menacing. Nessie admitted the old sharp toothed look gave folk the wrong impression, which made her sad, because deep down she’s a gentle soul, despite the “monster” moniker.
Nessie is famous
I always thought Nessie was male.
Did she get a sex-change operation in Turkey as well?